You stand up to zip your pants after going the bathroom and your keys fall out of you pocket into the toilet. Eeewee.
Your date has a piece of chicken the size of Texas hanging out of his mouth and he can't even tell it's there. You think you're going to barf.
It's freezing cold outside but you're STILL sweating like a fat man running.
Your mom is fatter than Nama's.
Your boss sends you an email to tell you how something should have been handled when you already handled it that way. Grrrr!
It's Saturday night, 10pm, and you still haven't started your homework for the weekend. You continue to avoid it by making a dumb list of stuff that happened to you and posting it on your blog.
You sneeze at work and a blob of mucus flies out and lands on the report you just printed for your boss.
You need certain feminine items when you are at school so you run back to class to get your money. Then you run to four different bathrooms in the building only to find out that NONE of vending machines work, and two of them don't have what you need anyway.
The man you love is single, but the Spirit says NO.
You wake up to find that you have slept in and have to leave for work in 15 minutes, AND you have no clean underwear.
The mammoth ‘zit’ that is taking up residence between your eyes is actually a boil. Your face swells up where the boil is so you can’t see very well out of either eye.
You stay up till 1am working on a quiz that took 3 hours and then completely forget to turn it in on time so you loose all the points for it.
You totally forget you have an egg roll in the oven.
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Yes, these are all true stories. They really did happen to me. Please add to the list.
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13 comments:
You fall UP the stairs in the ASB and some fine looking speciman stops to make sure you're okay.
During a perfomance of a musical, you fall down, get back up to keep going with the show, and fall right back down.
Noticing that your ID card isn't in the pants you are wearing, you touch your butt and proclaim to the guy you're eating with, "Wrong pants!"
You've just spent 4 days in Rome walking 8-10 miles a day, the buses and the subways are on strike. As you waddle home around 10pm the last night, you realize that you are sitting ducks for robbers, and your only defense is mace.
You're in a dressing room, trying to squeeze into a size 8 when you hear a squeaky voice in the next dressing room over say, "These are too big. I think I need a size 2."
(the first two are mine, the next two are from Susie, the last from my best friend Jessica)
You think you're doing a culturally sensitive, clever, cute, complimentary thing by giving Polynesian dancers play money, but end up inciting riots and conjuring up images of strip clubs among the audience.
ouch kimberly--- the funniest part is I think they have pretty much all happened to me (or something of the like, though not on the same day)
your paper was due two hours ago, you still haven't written it and you stare at the compuer screen blankly for at least an hour before you start checking blogs to prove momentary defeat.
oh that is now btw
Jon, I was not offended that you gave them money. I've seen that done before when Polynesian dancers perform.
You walk to school in a very cute outfit and hey, the hair isn't too bad either and you feel dang hot and it's not until you are over halfway there when finally someone says, "Your bag is undone."
You call that one girl the wrong name. again.
Your roommate gets the internship she wants and you're still waiting to hear back...
You find a twinkie in your fat roll. (wait, that's a good thing. I love finding twinkies.
during an fhe game of scattegories, the only disease you can think of that starts with a "g" is "gonorrhea".
i just hope you boiled those keys. Note to self... don't borrow Kimberly's keys...
You fall off your bike on the way to school. You didn't run into anything, or swerve to avoid killing a squirrel. Nope, you just fell because you were trying to get off the bike without coming to a complete stop first, assuming you could just keep walking with the motion of the bike. And it hurt. And lots and lots of people saw. And you laid on the ground for a while before getting up.
And then later you were comforted by Chris and told how it would be okay. Yeah, no sympathy.
But if he's the guy who goes on and on about himself and you'd rather talk to the waiter, it's okay if you spit all over your face.
You have two wads, one in each hand. One has a piece of lab equipment worth $100 wrapped in paper towel. The other has just paper towels. You throw away the wrong one.
and Chris mostly just laughed
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